If You Really Care About Someone … Do This One Surprising Thing

“If you really care about someone ask them to do the hardest thing you can think of. And I am not talking about running an ironman. It may be writing an email, asking for help or showing up.” – Marcia Caporn, Acton School of Business Graduate, Stanford graduate, two sport All American in soccer and golf, Gold Medalist, professional athlete, cover of Sports Illustrated.

This is not what I expected to hear as I listened to Marcia give her speech. 

But it is exactly what I needed to hear.  As a mom, a friend, a co-worker, a wife. I like to make things easier for my children and the people around me. 

From helicopter parenting to lawn mower parenting – we know the damage our best intentions can inflict on our children.  We also know we can grow and change. But…

What if my child is excluded from a group?

What if my child fails an important test, doesn’t get into college?

What if my child is pushed around?

What if my child isn’t given the attention he deserves in discussions?

What if my child is treated unfairly by other parents, let alone children?

What if my child isn’t chosen to be a leader?

What if my child lies and covers it up?

With this encouragement from Marcia, I renew my vows with my children that I will not intervene in their social struggles or their academic struggles. I will not call their coaches or teachers or pastors or guides or other parents when I am disgruntled about an unfair situation. (I’ve done all of those things, by the way.)

I will hug them and love them and be with them. I will say, “This is so very hard. I trust you to do what you think is best. I love you so.”  

We are partnering with Marcia to create a learning journey for parents. I can’t wait to share it with you here.

In her words: “I want to throw families into the fire and let them shed away old version of themselves. Through transformational programs I want to make them do hard things that challenge what they believe about themselves and what they are capable of.”  I hope you’ll join us!